it's 11:27 p.m. on sunday, may 28, and i've just arrived home from my sister's (miki) high school graduation. lori and brad, two of my other three siblings, are out with friends for the night, so i'm in writing about the first 24 hours at home, and trying to figure out why i think about lots of things when i'm here.
first things first: i'm home until friday. that's friday, june 2. then i fly back to boston to deal with the life out there that i created for myself.
....now, back to storytelling (or recapping....whatever). i like visiting my family at home. it's nice to return to my "home" environment, where i know that things haven't changed much, and i can usually find everything in the house as it was when i left. i also enjoy hanging out with family and friends because it makes me appreciate all of the opportunities i've had that much more. i'm not saying i don't appreciate the opportunities i've had in my life, but returning home, for however long it is, makes me love the people i've been surrounded with, and makes me want to do more for them....to make them proud of me.
so, i got off the plane around 9:20 last night. the family picked me up (i was the last of three to arrive), and we went home. i took my stuff to miki's room upstairs (as miki took over my room as soon as i left for college. no joke. i'm totally serious.), unpacked a little, ate a late night snack, and called it a night. this morning, i went with my dad to miki's baccalaureate service at kawaiaha'o church. that was early (we were there around 7:15), but it was a really nice service, and a refreshing reminder of the gifts that my high school's founder, princess bernice pauahi bishop, bestowed upon each and every student that passed through the halls of her school.
and that's where my day of intense thinking began. i thought about what i'm doing with my life, and what i could be doing with my life. i thought about the goals i've set for myself, and how much work i've actually done to accomplish these goals. i thought about the people i've met in my life, and how i've positively or negatively impacted their lives. and i thought about how selfish i've been, and how much more i could be giving back to those who have shared so much with me. and it made me wish i could go back and erase the last five years of my life and start over again, and really be the person i want to be.
however, i can't do that. i'm on this path that i have chosen for myself, and it's up to me to make the most of it. i know that i am in control of what i do and who i become, and it is just a matter of time before i get there.
and i always wonder....why does it take a brief trip home for me to rejuvenate this desire to be a better person? how and why do i get caught up in my own life back in boston? is this the time for me to focus on myself, and to be selfish so that i am prepared to commit my life to giving back to those who gave to me? i won't know until that day comes, but until then, i will continue to do things that will make me happy in hopes that these decisions will, ultimately, lead me to serving others, as i have in the past.
i know, this is a really random post. but if i don't write it out, i'll just confuse myself even more. and now that i've written this, i feel better about the things i've thought about today, and i know i shouldn't worry about the things that worry me because most of those things are out of my control. i think this opportunity to be selfish is teaching me to protect myself from those who do not wish to positively impact my life, and to, possibly, teach me to share all of these good things with people who have come into my life in hopes of spreading the joy of serving others.
did that make sense? i have no idea. but i'm breathing easier and at peace with myself. so, that's good, right? i'm calling this a post, and calling it a night.
tomorrow is another day to embrace all the good that's set in front of me.
-me : )
May 29, 2006
May 17, 2006
the way i see it #100
i'm such a dork. i don't even know why i'm posting this one, but i guess it's to reminisce about "the west wing". the series finale aired on sunday night, and it made me sad to think that i won't see president bartlet and his gang running a fictional united states....so, here it goes:
"what if, in addition to filing a tax return every year, we had the chace to decide where our tax dollars would be used? programs and government departments that no one likes would simply go away." --bart jarman (starbucks customer from gilbert, arizona)
the federal government was nice to me during this tax season, but massachusetts was not as nice....at least as nice as the federal government. but i'm not complaning.
the sun came out last night around 6....that was nice. and now it's hiding behind the clouds, but it came out, so i wore my sunglasses to work. i really wish the weather would get better and make it feel more like spring/summer than fall/winter.
i guess this is another random post....i don't have much to write today, except that i'm excited to go home and see my family and friends. it'll be a really nice break from boston and the craziness here.
it's going to be a long day, but at least the sun has come out to play.
-me : )
"what if, in addition to filing a tax return every year, we had the chace to decide where our tax dollars would be used? programs and government departments that no one likes would simply go away." --bart jarman (starbucks customer from gilbert, arizona)
the federal government was nice to me during this tax season, but massachusetts was not as nice....at least as nice as the federal government. but i'm not complaning.
the sun came out last night around 6....that was nice. and now it's hiding behind the clouds, but it came out, so i wore my sunglasses to work. i really wish the weather would get better and make it feel more like spring/summer than fall/winter.
i guess this is another random post....i don't have much to write today, except that i'm excited to go home and see my family and friends. it'll be a really nice break from boston and the craziness here.
it's going to be a long day, but at least the sun has come out to play.
-me : )
May 16, 2006
the way i see it #109
this was a fun one to get this morning in the pouring rain and exciting weather that is new england. and it also put a smile on my face as i boarded the #1 bus at hynes.
"what you do to others you really do to yourself. so when you do good to others, you're doing good to yourself. alternatively, when you do bad to others, you're doing bad to yourself. so in thinking of others, think of yourself, for to love and do right by others is to love and do right to your own self." --leela james (musician)
....i believe that completely. so, if you think that people are being rude and inconsiderate, just remember that they're being rude and inconsiderate to themselves, and they'll have to deal with the consequences. i'm a firm believer that one is in control of one's own actions regardless of the situation; it just depends which side of the coin you decide to be on.
in other news, i'm going home in 11 days to see my sister, miki, get her high school diploma. my dad told me that she threatened to not go to graduation if i didn't go home, so, well, i'm going home. i'll spend about a week in the islands with the family, and i'm really excited. i'm battling a really weird cold/flu thing that hasn't exactly made up its mind on what it wants to be, and work is exhausting me. i can feel it in my bones and it doesn't feel good. so much so that i took a day off yesterday to rest up for the next 8 days of work....it sucks to be sick, but i'm doing my best to get better (i don't think the rainy and cold weather helps). again, to remind myself: i am in control of my own actions/attitudes about my situation.
oh, and more exciting news: simon and lisa moved in! we (piper, allison, steve, lisa, simon, and me) set up drew's bed (thanks drew!) and the futon in the huge room for lisa and simon to share. it's going to be an awesome summer....hooray!
i guess that's it for now. i've caught up with the work i missed yesterday, and am working on stuff for the events in the coming week.
i want the sun to come out and play.
-me : )
"what you do to others you really do to yourself. so when you do good to others, you're doing good to yourself. alternatively, when you do bad to others, you're doing bad to yourself. so in thinking of others, think of yourself, for to love and do right by others is to love and do right to your own self." --leela james (musician)
....i believe that completely. so, if you think that people are being rude and inconsiderate, just remember that they're being rude and inconsiderate to themselves, and they'll have to deal with the consequences. i'm a firm believer that one is in control of one's own actions regardless of the situation; it just depends which side of the coin you decide to be on.
in other news, i'm going home in 11 days to see my sister, miki, get her high school diploma. my dad told me that she threatened to not go to graduation if i didn't go home, so, well, i'm going home. i'll spend about a week in the islands with the family, and i'm really excited. i'm battling a really weird cold/flu thing that hasn't exactly made up its mind on what it wants to be, and work is exhausting me. i can feel it in my bones and it doesn't feel good. so much so that i took a day off yesterday to rest up for the next 8 days of work....it sucks to be sick, but i'm doing my best to get better (i don't think the rainy and cold weather helps). again, to remind myself: i am in control of my own actions/attitudes about my situation.
oh, and more exciting news: simon and lisa moved in! we (piper, allison, steve, lisa, simon, and me) set up drew's bed (thanks drew!) and the futon in the huge room for lisa and simon to share. it's going to be an awesome summer....hooray!
i guess that's it for now. i've caught up with the work i missed yesterday, and am working on stuff for the events in the coming week.
i want the sun to come out and play.
-me : )
May 10, 2006
the way i see it #97
i thought this quote was funny and relevant to the time of the year (hooray baseball!)
"it's often said that baseball is life, or is like life, or that going to a baseball game is like going to church. piffle. baseball is like baseball, and that's plenty good enough because nothing else is quite like baseball." --rob neyer (espn.com baseball columnist and co-author of 'the neyer/james guide to pitchers.)
here's one more thing before i go....i hate being sick. especially the sore throat, itchy eyes, achy body sick. blah. and it's raining in boston in may. may showers bring....june flowers?
i'm going home in two weeks for miki's graduation. exciting. hopefully i'm not still sick when i go home. that would suck a lot. i should stop complaining.
boo to the rain and being sick.
-me : )
"it's often said that baseball is life, or is like life, or that going to a baseball game is like going to church. piffle. baseball is like baseball, and that's plenty good enough because nothing else is quite like baseball." --rob neyer (espn.com baseball columnist and co-author of 'the neyer/james guide to pitchers.)
here's one more thing before i go....i hate being sick. especially the sore throat, itchy eyes, achy body sick. blah. and it's raining in boston in may. may showers bring....june flowers?
i'm going home in two weeks for miki's graduation. exciting. hopefully i'm not still sick when i go home. that would suck a lot. i should stop complaining.
boo to the rain and being sick.
-me : )
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