quick recap: surgery #2 happened on friday, i spent the entire weekend in the hospital, discharged from the hospital on monday, and returned to work today. more about the surgery later; i promise.
i just got off the phone with my father. he's a pediatrician-samurai combination who's raised five children and currently resides at home in hawaii. hooray. i haven't spoken with my father about the surgery or anything related to it since it happened AND since today is his birthday, i thought it'd be a nice gesture to call, wish him a happy birthday and let him know that i'm doing okay. i thought i had the conversation mapped out in my mind, but i was wrong. obviously. i'm always wrong. no matter what i do, i'm always "selfish and thinking only of myself."
the specific situation he mentioned is that my brother came up to boston this weekend, took off time from work, to take care of me. unfortunately, and unexpectedly on my part, i ended up in the hospital all weekend (my doctor didn't tell me beforehand, and i didn't ask him). so, brad ended up hanging out with my roommate (christina) and friend (jac), and cooked a couple of meals so that i'd have food when i came home.
my dad went on a two-minute rant as soon as he got on the phone: he yelled at me about not thinking about anyone else, about being selfish, about brad taking time off from work and about having him cook dinner for my roommates.
all i could think of was: 1) seriously? you're going to yell at me about this? i had no idea that i would be in the hospital overnight, not to mention all weekend, and my doctor didn't tell me prior to my arrival at the hospital on friday morning; 2) it's YOUR FREAKIN' birthday and you're yelling at me; i thought you'd be happy to hear your daughter call you with an update on surgery and her knee AND to wish you a happy birthday; and 3) i will never do anything right in my dad's eyes. i always find a way to screw things up because i don't ask all the questions i'm SUPPOSED to ask, and i'm SUPPOSED to know all the questions to ask. at the time, i had no idea that an open surgery would require an overnight stay, and even though it was a possibility, he hadn't said anything definite when i saw him three weeks ago.
and i was furious. i was ready to hang up the phone, but i knew better. i knew that if i hung up the phone, that was it, and i'd probably never speak with him again. so, i didn't. i took like i always have, continued the conversation with an explanation of what exactly happened, and ended with a "happy birthday, dad."
grr. a venting post. oh well. at least you'll get a look into my family and how they've molded me into who i've become, right? i'm done.
are we supposed to know everything to do in life in every situation by the time we're 23?
-me : )
September 14, 2006
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4 comments:
i totally get where you're coming from. my dad got mad at me recently cuz i bought a tv (with my own money) without consulting him. sometimes fathers are unreasonable (mine isn't even a samurai). i'm still trying as hard as i can to make him treat me like a grown up (which i'm not...but at least a human being and not a pet). it's like i build up my own life and he goes around with a wreaking ball trying to turn me into a little girl again. i guess i never adequately rebelled as a teenager and these are the unfortunate consequences. sorry for the rant...just wanted to empathize.
I hate that parents sometimes forget what it's like to be 20-something. Also, when they forget what it's like to recover from surgery. With dads it's even more difficult because they never knew what it was like to be a 20-something female living in Boston just out of college and dealing with a superfun injury. Fathers can be unreasonable...sounds like yours wins the prize this time.
That's pretty awesome that your brother came to Boston to help out. Even if you weren't actually at home, it must have been nice to see him a bit.
while growing up, i felt enormous pressure from my father to be perfect. i was analyzing my relationship with my father recently, and i realized that i blame him for all the ways in which i am "fucked up" because of his unrealistically high expectations of me. but then i realized he is also responsible for my (usually) superb work ethic, which got me where i am today academically and atheletically. so while i have him to "blame" for my negative qualities, i also have him to thank for my positive ones. i'm not saying you can't be pissed at your dad -- and i think you should be. but in theory our fathers do love us and i guess that means we have to try to love them back.
-kendra
hey td extraordinaire, good job on getting results up so quickly...can i have a bedtime story about the triumphant brutesquad? please please?
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