the last five weeks

hello again. i'm not really sure who reads this, but thanks to those of you who do. it's been almost five weeks since i've returned to work, and it's been a really long six weeks. here's the quick update on my knee:

i'm no longer bent in 15 degrees....just 5-10 now. it's been a rough six weeks of physical therapy with jenn, and i've had my share of good days and bad days. the beginning of february was rough because i wasn't making as much progress as doctor foster, jenn, and i wanted me to, and everything just got to me. tons of fun, let me tell you. blah. the last week has been a lot better, now that i've got most of my emotions under control, and am feeling a little better about the little progress i'm making at physical therapy. it's just really frustrating to not have control over the timeline of the situation, and really be at the mercy of my knee and the pain my body gives off (is that even the right word?) in order to "protect" my body. i'm such a wimp. boo me.

since there are so many variables that determine my progress, i decided that i couldn't pretend that i'd be healthy in time for fall ultimate. it was really hard to tell my teammates and friends that i probably wouldn't play ultimate this fall, but i couldn't put the pressure on myself to try to heal when my body isn't responding as it should. i do plan to be at every brute practice and tournament this coming season, and i do hope that by that time, i'll be able to at least walk around with a normal gait. that would be awesome. it just made me really sad to know that i could be out for an entire year without playing a sport. that's never happened to me before, and it's weird to think about it. so, i think that finally being able to admit to myself that it's not reasonable to think about playing ultimate took a huge burden off my shoulders, and has made life a little easier to deal with.

i visited doctor foster about two weeks ago, and, as i mentioned before, he was disappointed that i haven't made further progress with my leg. he told me that surgery looked like the next option, but wanted me to get a second opinion before jumping to such a huge conclusion....

so, this morning, i visited dr. micheli over at children's hospital for a second opinion. he recommended acupuncture to help me gain control of the pain that i have, and to continue with physical therapy. he says that i need the months of rehab so he can actually determine whether or not i would need a hamstring release procedure to get my leg to full extension. and now, i have an appointment with an acupuncture physician at children's to start the pain-ridding process. i look forward to this visit, as i can't wait to do physical therapy with so much less pain. i'm such a wimp.

....and that's been my life for the past five weeks. work, my knee, and tryin' to get by. nothing comes easy, but i wish it would have gone a little smoother.

i guess the good thing about this time of the year is that march is right around the corner. and march is the best month of the year: my birthday, march madness, spring training, spring (supposedly) arrives, and well, because it just is the best month of the year. i do hope that march brings more smiles than tears; and that it brings pain relief....those are my only wishes.

i guess that's all i have to write for now. more to come, i'm sure.

i'm trying to be optimistic about my situation.

-me : )