last day of the semester

well, i just finished my last day of the semester. and boy did it suck. i'm not going into details about it, all i'm going to remember is that it sucked a lot. but it's over, and now it's time to focus on final exams.

it's been a pretty crappy semester except for brute squad. and thanksgiving. i couldn't have lost more control of myself as i did this semester. oh well. i was in control and i actively decided to not care enough, and now i get to study my butt off in hopes of salvaging all of my grades this semester. as one of the quotes i have in my away message says:

"in any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."

thanks goes out to teddy roosevelt for the quote. and that's exactly what i did this semester: nothing. i let myself feel sorry for myself and i didn't push myself to keep going when times were rough. oh well. it's over, and i am responsible for all that i do because it is my life. i want to do so many things, but when i do them, i don't do all of them well. i usually leave most of them to survive on their own. it's pretty interesting to watch time go by and do nothing about it. i wouldn't recommend doing it, though. not a good idea.

anywho, i'm in a crappy mood right now, and i'm not sure why. but it's a crappy mood nonetheless and i think i'm entitled to feel this way at least once a semester, if not more. just trying to figure everything out, i guess.

the one thing that made my day better was talking with ko. i called him on my walk back from economics class, and it was really good to talk with him. he just finished his last exam today, and he'll be on his way home to hawai'i on sunday. speaking of going home, i'll be at home next week friday for a good two and a half weeks. i can't wait for it; i really need to get out of this place and veg where things aren't so crazy. it'll be an awesome time. family, friends, local food, wonderful weather, and great memories. eight days and counting....

oh, i almost forgot to write about the huge snowstorm we had last weekend. over the course of two days, boston got nearly two feet of snow. i'm serious. two feet of snow. lots and lots of snow. it was really nice to see the city covered in white. now we have rain, and it's melting all the snow that's piled up around massachusetts and hopefully clearing it out before another storm is predicted to arrive on sunday. yes, winter is here!

one more thing to mention: i've finally made a decision. hooray? anywho, i decided last night (while procrastinating instead of writing my final english paper) that steve and i are going to work things out and see where they go. if it wasn't obvious since he and i started hanging out, well, i've said it now, so it should be crystal-clear. the second part of the decision is where mike would fit into this equation. well, he doesn't. we will not be in touch with each other at all. i think it's the way things have to be in order to prevent another cycle of emotional chaos. so, that's that. just thought i should note this.

okay, i think that's it for now. time for receipt-writing and getting ready for track practice.

all i want is peace.

-me : )