unbelievable

it's unbelievable. so very unbelievable. i can't believe how much my sisters abuse the privilege they have to go out with their friends. they lie to my dad about where they're going, and they think that they can use the car whenever they want. unfortunately, my dad does not exert as much control as he did when i was in high school. and that's just crap. they go in and out of the house as they please and my dad doesn't stop them.

i'm frustrated because they go out with their friends in high school. i don't have a group of friends that i can go out with because i never went out. i wasn't able to go out and hang with my friends because we lived far apart from each other and my dad wouldn't let me go out with them. now, that i'm home for break, i'm just sitting around the house watching tv, blogging, and hanging out. i don't have any friends to call to go out because i didn't have that opportunity in the past. ko, the one friend i've hung around with when i'm at home, has other friends that he can hang out with.

it's not that i dislike hanging out with myself. i don't mind going out by myself because it's nice to be alone and think about things. but it really sucks when i'm the one at home while my three younger siblings are out and about on the town doing things i don't even want to know about.

i guess that's why i come home. i come home to hang out with myself and try to figure things out. i come home to veg and chill and to try to relax, to be an observer of the happenings of my family, and to discover myself. once i figure that out, then i'll understand why i experienced life the way i did. and then i won't feel the way i feel right now.

that's my vent for now. today's recap is on its way.

just breathe.

-me : )